the peak (list version)

I haven't posted for a while now. I've been busy with a lot of stuff so I'll just be copying whatever i have posted in Friendster blog here since the last time I opened blogspot. Then I'll be listing important dates. =p

^_^

ngayon lang ako nakahawak ng pc ule dahil ginagawa ko yung resume ko sa english... hehe! natutuwa ako...=D bagamat sobrang busy lage... akalain nyo yun ndi na ko naiinsomniac! kasi paguwi madalas bagsak agad sa kama... tulog agad... wala na rin panahon magmunimuni...haha! anyway, sa dami ng kakaibang pangyayari, natutuwa ako sa mga taong nagpapaalala sakin na masaya ang buhay. Everyday is a happy day nga diba?=p Unang una na si eisen na karamay sa bilyar! hehe... di lang naman dun, lamu na yun... ikaw ang kadikit ko lately sa skul gang kaen, gang bilyar, gang ym pa minsan kya salamat talaga! ankorni mo kya masaya! haha! hehe shempre kay rainer din! sobrang busy nga lang yan sa nursing kaya mejo di nakakasama lagi pero lagi pa rin shang anjan hanggat kaya nya. salamat murderer! haha isa kang huwarang corn! shempre kay senedy, di pwedeng mawala... kahit na ndi ko na sha classmate ngayon... eto ang naging shoulder to cry on ko... hehe nalala mo yung panaginip ko? haha! naku senedy buti na lang andyan ka! pag nawala ka di na mabubunyag ang sikreto ko! bwahaha! kay liszt... imajinary frend ko ikaw na nagkatawang tao! haha jux! marami akong natututunan sa mga conversations natin! sunugin ang archive!! bwahaha!! kila oyang at mila... namiss ko kayo sobra! buti na lang my bonding moments na tayo ngayon every friday...=p salamat mga bru sa company! kay camille lalu pa... binigyan nya ko ng trabaho! haha! salamat sa paglipad mo sa pabango nung araw na yun... lamu na yun... hehe nakakatuwa ka talaga! akalain mong involuntary mong nilipad yung pabangong inispray ko sa hangin? hahaha! salamat sa pagpapatawa mo kahit minsan di sadya...hehehe!sa pagdamay din sa namatay kong aso! ahek! sa lahat kahit inaaway kita lage...=p gusto ko din dito magpasalamat kila jj, ion, rudolf, chaey, lui, eunice sa gift nyo! waw ang astig tlga!=p para kay strawberry naman sa mga cr moments... haha panget pakinggan! basta happy ako kahit nambababae ka...ahek! nanalalalake naman ako! haha jowk lang!=p si julian naaadik na rin sa bilyar! yikeeee! haha! hmmm... c bhianca sa pagiging sabog at auti! makulay ang ym dahil sayo! walang drama, puro lang rofl! hehe! kay nay anne miss na kita!! daming kwento! ahek! kay daniel, kris, kuya nico... mga taong nung summer ay nagpapatawa, nagkkwento.. at gang ngaun kahit di n mshado nkkausap e naffeel pa rin ang care... nax! hehehe! si lyndon.. ke paula pa pala, sa mga kwentong naruto waaaah salamat tlga!!! hehe pati sa ym pool!=p kay ion salamat kasi lagi kang leyt.. haha jux! ewan, salamat lang! sa 3eceB kasi ngsit in ako senyo dati... haha! buti di nyo ko pinalayas! sa mga classmates ko at ex classmates...walalang! hehe!;p me nalimutan ba kong prendships? ah c ollie...naysnaysnays! hahaha! u remind me na mabaet ako kasi bad ka! hahaha jux lang!kelan ko lang nafeel kung gano ko kaimportante sayo... ilang taon n ba tau makakilala? haha! salamat... sang sarap naman ng feeling! hehehe ay actuali lhat pla ng nbanggit kos a taas... nkkpgbgay ng mgndang feeling saken... hehe! panget pkinggan! higit sa lahat, nipost ko talga to dahil kay acriza! nung nisurprise mo ko ansaya ko talaga... naisip ko nun kung naging lalake ka niligawan na kita... haha jux lang! kc nman boyprend material ka tlga aminado k nman e... haiskul p lang ikaw n taga buhat ng libro ko! hahaha! ankulet! babae po kame preho ha! hahaha! natutuwa lang tlga ko.. di mo lam kung gano mo ko napasaya nung gabing yon... di lang halata kasi sobrang pagod tlga nun... hehehe adik k tlga acriza! alabyu so mats!! kung ganto lagi ang buhay e di masaya! kahit mgkalayo at di lagi nagkikita damang dama pa rin kita! hahaha!answerte ko tlga sau!pde ba kitang isanla minsan? pg wla na kong pera? mgkano ka kya worth? ako na cguro pnkmyamang tao sa mundo pg nangyari... hahaha jux lng! isanla daw ba? wahehe bka upakan mo lng cla...o ako! hahaha! wag n lng...=p walalang, salamat talaga... mga taong tulad mo ang... hmm nga taong tulad mo! hehehe ndi ko matuloy di ko maicp kung ano nga ba ilalagay ko e... bsta gets na cguro yun!acre tenkyu tlga! sobrang hinatid mo p tlga nung gabi yun... ngabala ka pa... loka ka tlga! pnaasa mo ko.... tas akala ko nkalimutan mo na ko.... tas bigla kang ssulpot ng di ko na inaasahan! adik ka tlga!hahaha iba ka! panu mo nggwa yang mga yan? turuan mo nman ako pra mgamit ko sa panliligaw ko! hahaha jowk lang!=p hay miss ko na kayong lahat! hehehe saya ng buhay!^_^ salamat prends!! dati ndi ko pa gano pnphalagahan yang mga gnyan... pg kasama, kaibigan... pg ngkahiwalay na minsan ngkkalimutan na... pero ngaun sobrang nattunan ko na mgvalue ng sobra pra sa mga kaibigan ko. ngeeffort na tlga ko ngayon... hehehe haaay cge takbo na ko... papaprint pa sa labas! (ngcng ako ng 10, pgtingin ko ng fon ko my text... my miting daw sa neces ng 9am ngaun! waaaaah! sobra 1030pm ata ung text... e nkatulog ako ng 10+... wahhh! sobra tlga! wla pa kong participation... haaay! sori tlga... nkkawindang!=c eto dami ko pa gngwa...stop na ko!)

e-mail lang

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4.. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

chance?

masaya ang buhay... walang makakasira nun kahit pa mga taong pilit sinisira ang bawat araw ko... hanggat anjan ang mga tunay na taong nagmamahal saken walang makakasira sa motto ko... everyday is a happy day! wahehehe!

nakakalungkot isipin na may tao kang nasasaktan ng hindi mo namamalayan, hindi mo sinasadya... nakakatanga naman na hindi mo malaman yon dahil ayaw nyang sabihin...lalu pa kung malaman mo nga sa iba naman galing...
nakakagago pa din yung alam nya na nga na alam mo na, hinahayaan nya lang tumakbo ang buhay na parang walang nangyari...pero para shang nagkaron ng selective amnesia dahil all of a sudden di ka na nya kilala...
ansakit isipin na sa isang iglap, lahat ng pinagsamahan nyo mapapanood mong gumuguho sa harap mo...
nakakadurog ng puso malaman na kung sino pa yung taong pinagkatiwalaan mo, tinuring mong malapit na kaibigan, yun pa yung taong sasaktan ka ng sobra, yung taong akala mong laging anjan sa tabi mo, yung taong akala mo di ka iiwan dahil di mo sha iiwan, yung taong akala mo ganun din yung turing sayo, yun pala kayang kaya ka nyang itapon na lang bigla na parang basura...

hindi ko gusto tong nangyayari... hindi ko gustong magalit sayo... pero anong magagawa ko kung yun yung nararamdaman ko sa ginagawa mo saken?

sana hindi pa huli ang lahat...
sana bigyan mo pa tayo ng pagkakataon...

June28 - that night I cried to Senedy about B-anne

July19 - my cousins' arrival from Canada
July23 - got my harry potter book 6 from Acriza^_^
July24 - Razta
July27 - the ECE lab incident
July27? - Patrick's confession that he's Himiko
July28? - Lyndon confessed that he never really liked B-anne, it was really me, the poem was for me, and that he only courted B-anne because of his stupid mouth!
July28 - Acriza visited uste
July28 - Selina got sick... low white blood cell count... admitted to the hospital
July29 - swimming
July29 - Liszt's Birthday... celebration the next day but I wasn't able to come because I was too busy sleeping for 17.5 hrs! sorry to alex and shas whom i kept waiting for 2 hrs
July30 - my talk with B-anne

*Thea's not doing too well in Math Enrichment Class
**Eisen could be gay
***already had two holding both hands dream of Eisen
****failed ME and EE quizzes
*****shopping
******tutoring
*******cousins
********eat then billiards
*********not doing well in school
**********i hate lab
***********moments with senedy
************lyndon
*************patrick
**************eisen...
***************no more TV, no more naruto
****************meeting Mila and the others... new friends first policy!

"Everyday is a happy day!":p

Revitalization

Since my last post, a lot have happened. June 8, 2005, the first time I cried because of a friend. This is what Senedy told me that night that made me let it all out: galit daw sha pati yung mom nya sayo dahil akala nila siguro may special connection kayo ni pat
I felt that I was treated so unjustly. B-anne holding back on her emotions for me; B-anne even considering that I would do such a thing. Sumasama talaga yung loob ko everytime I hear stuff from Pat and Senedy. That night on YM, I felt the urge to tell Eisen what was going on between me and B-anne. The next day, I told Rainer about it too. (I think he even thought I was going to tell him something good. Like what? Me and Eisen together? ha! I think that's what he thought!) Still, I wanted to talk to B-anne about all of these hearsays. I want to...cause we still haven't talked about it til now. There has really been tension between us. It's getting worse. Earlier this week, in an occassion where there was a chance to at least mention it, B-anne told me that she had read my e-mail, told me that she was not mad and she's planning to reply to that mail. Until now there's none. She even said Rainer was making "parinig" na about the bag and her being always somewhere not with us. Rainer didn't know about the issue back then. These past few days, we're becoming closer to normal in terms of communication. We laugh and talk pretty much spontaneous now, without bias, without pretense. At least that's what I'm feeling. I'm hoping that we're gonna be okay soon. I'm still waiting for the chance to clear things up with her.

Aside from that issue, is Eisen's. We're spending so much time together. Since I like him, it's been very heavenly feel for me, yet it also gives me this bad feeling. We're friends. I shouldn't be expecting more. I'm not expecting more. But when you feel good, you want it to last. I don't know if this may be it but I think I'm falling for him. When I told him about my conflict with B-anne, I was awestrucked on how he responded to everything that I say. It's as if a brain was cut in half, one part became mine and the other his. We think alike. Even his manner of giving advice and stuff. His way of respecting my decisions. The very reason why I chose to tell him first before Rainer. I know he will respect whatever decision I will have regarding the matter. That no one makes a move until I have spoken to her. Eisen is so so much a gentleman when it's just him and me together. I don't want to assume anything. He told me before that even during his highschool days, maybe even elementary too, he was used to being friends with a group of people with girls and boys. How he treats me may just well be as how he treats every one of his girl friends. It's just that there's not a very many number of guys that I have been really become very close to. I'm not used to him or any guy for that matter, to make me feel "special" yet being just a friend. Suitors tend to make you feel special because they are suitors. Friends, however, makes you feel special in ways other than Eisen is making me feel, though he does it to me probably unintentionally. Sometimes I hate it when he does those things. A very cruel oxymoron that makes me want and don't want him to be around. I do want him to be around. I never said I want more. It's a really nice idea but I am contented with what I have now with him. Our friendship means a lot to me. And I'm too afraid to risk it all just to have a shot at love. It's a gigantic gamble on love. I don't want to do anything that could threaten what we have now. I won't like it more if I tell him and he walks away than not give him any idea at all at how I feel just so that there's a guarantee that he'll be with me forever. I know it sounds selfish. But I am really scared to lose him. Of course there is a possibility that the feelings could be mutual, but I'm not counting on it because of what I call "control." I want control. I have control over myself. I believe in the balance. If I get too happy, eventually something really bad will happen. I want smooth sailing. I want it steady. I like it this way. I'm contented with this situation. Happy and at peace. Hurting for awhile but still very much happy and at peace. "anything for a fwend" that's what he says.

Busyness is rampant nowadays. Haha! For weeks now, I've been coming home late, not being able to watch Naruto a lot of times now. I tutor, have I told you that? Every friday, I'm at Camille's mom's clinic, tutoring Highschool Math1 and 2 for her siblings. That's around 2 hrs a day. From 4pm. That's why during the long day's break, I either go to the library to study or catch up with my high school friends. Mila and Oyang have been a bit and very dramatic lately. I stress too when i empathize. I meet with Senedy and even sat in with her Circuits class without her professor noticing it. Ha! I meet any friends who are available. I've met with the adiks of mIRC Undernet #ust one time. That was the day after I cried I think. I even found a new place in P. Noval. It was called 1611 cafe and I drank like half a bottle of Red Horse there before Camille could take me away from it. Hehe.. I remember the perfume incident later that day. I've met with Anna, Christine, Acriza, Eunice and JJ, random people! I'm making myself busy on everything. All except NECES that is. Aside from Camille's siblings, I still tutor Thea. Her Math is now 10 times harder that before since she's now in the Math Enrichment Class thanks to yours truly. Hehe! Normally, my schedule with her is 6:30-7:30pm Tuesdays and Thursdays or Fridays. On other days, I try to study or sleep or watch TV or hang out with friends. Sometimes, I play billiards with you know who. Not that topic again... hehehe! This week is known as "hell week" because of the four major quizzes in three days that happened and ended today. I slept thermodynamics. I know i'm gonna fail that one. At least I didn't study! Ha! I slept statistics but I woke up really really early that day! (there's a miracle!) I think I may have a chance in passing and failing that one. hehe! Also that day, I took the ECE online exam... 28/30 is pretty good. Today, it was suppose to be ECE and differential equations but the DE prof was late and he had to postpone the quiz on another date. It was just disappointing. I studied really hard for that last night. I slept for 2 hours. I woke up real early and he doesn't show up! At least I like his reason for being late. He loves his family. He looks and acts similar to Jose. hehe! It's cool... ECE exam was okay, though I forgot to leave my stupidity in my bag when I took it. I could get a better grade! Anyway, with all the stressful homeworks, projects, quizzes, group studies and everything distressful about the week, here's a story that made everything bad go away.

Remember, on my 18th birthday, Acriza's gift is the harry potter book 6 but that time it wasn't out yet. Now is the day! Yesterday I sent her an sms asking how we'd meet today. She didn't reply. The whole day today I was waiting for her text. I was beginning to think that she's not gonna give it to me today. Okay, that's fine, I don't have a say on this cause it's her gift to me. When I got home today from a birthday party, I was in front of the TV resting, Mama called me, I heard Acriza's voice and then I knew! I was hurrying down the stairs, there I saw her, with a book wrapped in a white and purple wrapper with a green ribbon. With a card on it! It says... ah wait I still have to get it...nevermind... hehe! Anyway, I was SO touched! My bestfriend, she surprized me! I was so thrilled! If she were a guy I'd she'd be my boyfriend! haha! Wow! That's all I've been saying... I was too tired to laugh, to jump, to shout, to be excited! I just said Wow and smiled... A bit talk and she was off... She really just went out of her way to deliver it to me, this very day. That book is now the most special book that I'll treasure forever. Thanks my friend! Awesome!=p

This last paragraph is for the Lord. I went to the chapel yesterday and told Him that I want Him to come into my heart. I asked Him to be with me in my studies for the next day's quizzes. I asked Him to wake me up that night and He did. He's always there for me. I love Him. Now He's back!^_^ I'm so sorry Lord for doubting You. I love you!

"Everyday is a happy day!":p

on Friendship

Friends like you come along once in a lifetime

And I want you to know how glad I am that you came along in mine. Friends like you are so valuable and so rare. You provide me with things that can't compare with any other happiness in my life. I am so thankful for all the wonderful things about you. You understand my difficulties and always give me the benefit of the doubt. There are so many times when you're the only one who knows what I'm going through. You're what communication and trust are all about.

If you sense that I'm hurting, you do whatever you can to help me. And you don't hold things against me. You help me prop up my courage if it starts to fade, and you have such a gentle way of providing reassurance. You walk beside me when I could use a little guidance and direction in my life. And, more than anyone else, you support me in my attempts to do what is right.

You multiply my smiles, and you constantly add to my favorite memories. You make me feel like I really am somebody who matters. Then, you quietly prove to me how beautiful that feeling is. You really are amazing. And I wish I had a way to thank you for all things.

I feel like it's important to let you know that, in you, I have come across a wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime friend. The gift of that friendship is the nicest thing anyone could ever give. And I will cherish it all the days of my life and all the years that I live.

With thanks to a very wonderful friend.

I read this on one of the cards on my friend's bedroom wall and decided to post it here. Lately, I've realized that the value of friendship is too deep to just ignore or take forgranted. We may not feel that we have to, but we should not let our moments together pass and flow like as if it will happen the same way again tomorrow. True friendship needs effort to grow. It's not measured with how long you've known each other, how often you see each other, how constant you talk on the phone or how much you spend through texts. In every aspect, quality is always better than quantity. Friendship, like all other relationships, is a process. Step by step, stage by stage. You start off by chosing who you'd like to be with. Eventually, there'll be less and less people who'll remain. You get to know each other. You share laughter. And so on. Sometimes, things happen and you don't expect it. Threats to friendships come and it's just a natural process. Sometimes they triumph in wrecking the relationship, sometimes successful in making the it better. These threats may be in the form of misunderstandings, distance, jealousy, love, pressure, priorities and so on. Battling with these threats can be hard but basic open communication is a giant leap towards reconcillation. Trust isn't even that important. For trust cannot be given fully to anyone by people who, by nature, are cautious or afraid to get hurt. Faith in the relationship is another factor. The will to hold on is a very powerful weapon against destruction. If you have faith in the person, there is always hope for the friendship. That is when both parties believe. Because when one falters, the other can't stand alone. If giving is one sided, there is nothing of what we call friendship. For friendship is a relationship and a basic relationship involves a pair with mutual connection. Mutual.

At ngayon pa ko inantok... Wish ko lang matuloy ko pa sha...

Shax ndi ko na matuloy gtg na ko!!

But before I go, I'd like to mention a few names:
Acriza-tingin ko ikaw na ung

"Everyday is a happy day!":p