8/30: umiyak sa phone
nakipagbreak sa gf
nakipagbalikan
8/31: nakipagmeet
kumapal muka
nagkasakitan ng salita
9/1: last byebye email
fix his life
9/2: last online conversation
9/6: Day1 email
MQ: Uy, bat bigla ka umalis?
JC: Enough na yung mga narinig ko. Thanks for making it crystal clear na tama yung gut feel ko to break up with you. All doubts and hopes and whatifs about us vanished. I can finally move on guilt free na pinakawalan kita. Tama ka, u don't deserve me. =) thanks for the 4 years. You made me stronger and wiser.
MQ: Hmm, ouch.
JC: U deserve it.......--...For the record, tingin ni LP magkakabalikan pa tayo. He doesn't take advantage. Madali lang kung tutuusin pero marunong shang magisip. Minsan magisip ka rin. May utak ka naman.
MQ: Sna di mu nlng tnxt yung mga un. Nagdilim paningin ko. Ur so complicated. Ang hrap hrap mo basahin. This is why i always end up doing somethng s2pd.
JC: Ndi lahat ng kilos mo nakadepende saken. Ikaw si Manny. May sarili kang pagkatao. Ginagawa mo ang isang bagay dahil pinili mo yun gawin, hindi dahil sinabi kong may pagasa pa o sinabi kong wala na. Im not closing my future kasi hindi ko hawak yun. Pero right now walang chance kasi wala namang naaddress na concern ko sayo. Hindi pa din ako ready kasi im still finding myself. Kaya nga hindi ko rin kayang mainvolve masyado kay LP. Hindi ka lang talaga nagiisip kaya you tend to do stupid things. Ako pa sisisihin mo.
9/2
MQ: Ur email moved me.
MQ: I want to fix my life jhoanna. Im in ruins. I can never reverse it. Pero im moved by what has transpired. And now, even though I lost u, i want the world to see the different side of me. I want to change. Tama ka pa rin. I cnt be a kid forever. I need to grow up. And when i do, im gonna find u. I'll go even to the far reaches of the planet to get to u.
MQ: Punta ko feast mmaya
9/1 LEX:
Uh, what I'm about to offer is an alternate explanation. It may or may not be the case with him so bear with me ha..
1. with what I can gather from your experiences with him and his growing up environment, he does have the tendency to be weak, sa pag iisip at sa general character. Not because he wants to but because of how he was raised. Di nadevelop ang sense of responsibility at decision making skills nya dahil all his life, someone else was in charge of his life. Tagasunod lang siya.
2. he was broken hearted and his weakness got the best of him. Obviously, easy to get yung girl so di ako magtataka kung siya ang nagseduce. Lalaki pa rin si Manny Jhoa. You forget that that was how he was when you met, yet he changed his ways just for you. That alone is a hallmark because realistically and out of fiction, not all guys are willing to do that, even for love.
3. maybe that was even how he realized how valuable you are to him. That eventhough someone was willing to give her body to him, he wasn't satisfied. Narealize nya na kababawan lang ang sex na walang pagmamahal.
4. he loved you enough to be honest with u. He risked being honest with u but he was desperate I guess.
5. naalala mo sabi ni tita ollie? Carry nya kung libog lang, mas masama kung may emotional attachment. I'm not saying it's ok. Hell no, I'm just saying, weak as he is. Break na kayo at tuliro siya, a girl took advantage of him but that doesn't erase love that easily. I don't think that serves to be an insult to you, rather a sign of how pathetic he can get. I remember when levi was at his weakest, character wise esp concerning his dad at barkada. And I did hate him for it. But still, a part of me loved him enough to help him grow out of it. It's not an easy process, but it's possible with love.
Di ko siya kinakampihan, at lalong di ko sinasabing magbago isip mo. Naisip ko lang kasi yung effort niya maging honest sayo. He could have chosen not to tell you. You may never have known. But I think he did that because he didn't want to make a fool out of you. If he did that while you were still together, I will kill him myself. But if he did love you as desperately as you tell me, I guess I can't imagine how unstable he got when he thought u were going to be with someone else. Ang pathetic nya, nakakainis, pero to hate him completely, I don't know...
Love u dude.Kung kelangan mo kausap, dito lang ako. Pls don't hate me... The only reason I brought it up is because I don't want you to feel bad by taking his stupidity personally. But if his stupidityis insufferable and he really makes you feel bad, kalimutan na natin siya! U should never tolerate such insane and weak behaviour except for the ultimate reason of love.. Good night po..
SO i texted him the next day:
I just realized what u told me was a risk but it was an effort to be honest to me. I appreciate that. Sorry, hindi ako dapat nagalit.Ikaw lang talaga ung may karapatan magalit saken. Please don't let your hopes up but i want to meet up again sana.
"Everyday is a happy day!":p
