pre back to school post

My post on xanga... just reposting it here...;p

Friday, June 03, 2005
ummmm.... summer's been cold for me. figuratively speaking that is... there's a lot of negative emotions coming from the whole summer experience though a lot of wisdom came out of it too. i also had some fun moments too. at least my summer's not dull. there's so much to do. so much!! now i'm really looking forward to the start of this semester. my majoring days are soon approaching. one week more! *sigh* i will miss everyone... haha! it's as if i'll be leaving to someplace far far away... but actually, i feel that i'm going to be busy starting this coming school year till graduation or so... our vacation is dreadfully dreadfully long! i'm starting to think of my future and boy does it freak me out. i'm also thinking of my tutoring a lot lately. i watched thea's pendragon earlier today and she cut her hair really short cause her character demands it. then i thought, if she sacrificed her hair for something like that, that actually started out as just a trip, even lost weight in the process of her production, why can't i be serious in my life for once? blahblahblah and i'm out of words to say... ksdafnkvnahdgaldfjasodigyadghsefngadasdffa okay i'm stopping now... hehehe i'm taking the tickle inkblot test.... hmmm... interesting... buhbye now!;p

Pre sectioning yesterday... eventhough I woke up early, went to school early and really really wanted and convinced that we're gonna be in section B this coming semester, we got there just a tinsy bit later that 2-10 (the other ece section) so they got to choose the better section which is suppose to be 3-ECE-B. *sigh* this must be fate!!! and fate is oh so cruel. most people wanted to take section B for professor issues. they say that section B gets the best teachers and A all the bad ones. even so, what about those who wanted B because of punctuality issues?? i wanted to be in B for that reason, eisen's reason too. that's more important! three years! for three years i'm gonna need to wake up, really wake up for my 7am class. B's got 8am starting class. and one hour difference is a very big difference for people like us who can't get out of bed so early in the morning. this is really a huge disappointment for me. and a very big disadvantage too if i'd be serious in my studies...not just my studies but with my life. i'm working hard on building a reason for myself to work hard this time. for once in my life i want to give my best in something that i've never really cared about before in which i do need to. that's my studies. my social life, i've worked on before. i'm not saying that it's enough but at least i've started to improve and i'm not stopping. now i need to focus my attention on my studies, my active life as a NECES staffer (since i think i got in just because i know the head of the logistics committee, i need to prove everyone that i'm capable of the position)..... too much pressure!! aaaaaahhhhhhh and what about my tutoring? i'm fearing that i won't be able to juggle everything. but i'm hoping i won't break down... hehe ?'ve never actually broken down before. that's probably because nothing really pushed me hard enough to get to that. unlike thea, she works hard in everything she does and just look at her now! she's so determined and in control of what she really likes, aims and shoots at it directly to the bull's eye. i admire that girl, really. yes i'm her math tutor and she probably gets intimidated by me, admires me and maybe is inspired by me too if i'm lucky enough. but in reality it's the opposite. i've written above how she cut her hair blablabla... so that's that! i'm worried about going back to school though. this dreadfully long vacation made me think about a lot of stuff. more for my future. i'm worried about my social status in our class. i'll see almost all of my classmates from the past two years. and for the next three years, they'll most likely be my classmates for 3 more years too
"Everyday is a happy day!":p