and i thought summer's getting better...

Just when I though summer's getting better, here comes Patrick with one heck of a news!

Wait, commercial break... I just heard "Pansinin" playing on the radio for the first time. This song is what Daniel used to kantype to me... The sonovavich is flirting with me! He's a freakin asshole! I always thought he was different. That's why I went on with his stuff seriously. I was serious! I thought he was too. But nooooo... While he was flirting with me, texting me often, say things!!, making me laugh, making me feel loved and cared, waking me up every morning so I won't be late, giving hints that he's interested in me, being friends, admitting that he has a crush on me, what? He's doing the same with another girl! Now he texts me, with that happy tone of his, telling me secret... Ohhh...what secret?!? That he and the girl named Kats are together! It was just yesterday! They got together yesterday! He texted me last night! I don't know what's been going on! Sheeeesh! What was I thinking?! I thought Kats has a boyfriend. I knew Daniel had a crush on him though he never admited that. I know they've been seeing each other and texting each other, on grounds of friendship. But what?! wtf?! I hate men! Why does this have to happen to me? I suck at this relationship things. Yes, I'm happy for them! I've always liked their tandem. Yet it hurts me that Daniel did this to me. He made me hope. I hate him. This feeling will end soon I know. When time comes that I'll be reading this entry, I'll just laugh. I hope. I think so. Why does everything bad happen to me when I'm already happy? I hate being happy if it means I'm gonna feel bad the next day.. I'll be okay with that soon. I'm hoping Daniel won't text me for a long time. Until such time that I forget about him. Never again will I fall for that trick. I hate him! He made the other gender's image bad again in my view. Just when I though I'm almost ready to face my feeling, let it flow... There it goes again... The feeling that my father gave me a few years back! That men are evil! That men only think love is skin deep. They have no feelings at all. They use you. Now I can really relate to bad love quotes my friends forward to me by mobile or by email. I guess I'll never find the one, even if I wait all my life. I hate what his shit's done to me. Freakin faggot! Now all I wanna do is play with a man! Just to feel a sense of revenge! An innocent man... who doesn't know how evil I am. A playful man... who thinks I'm just a toy... I want a karir right now. Make him fall then let him suffer. That's what a girl should do. Evil men deserve that! Evil people should suffer! Make me suffer! Coz i'm evil! Yeah! I like this! This fury that's eating me up inside! Where's miss goody good now? There! Went away with B-anne! And that's yet another freakin story! Of how my life gets miserable day after day after day! hmm... I'm getting pretty angry right now won't you agree? Sometimes people need to feel this way just to get a feel of it. I'm not like this all the time. I just wanna let it all out. More thinking will occupy me in the next days, weeks, maybe months... But I won't be thinking about this alone. All I wanna do right now is to stop thinking that love of an opposite sex exists for me out there. Not even with Eisen. Definitely not with Eisen. Oh, how's Lydon by the way? Do you think he's the one? I'm thinking hell no! But he's the only one who I think really loved me, and still does. If what he's feeling is true by the way. If only he's not like he is. We could be happy right now. But that's life for you kids out there! Real life! Not like the movies! A lot like the movies! Bloah! Don't compare them. Life is life! Deal with it! As for me, no emotions from now on. None whatsoever! No God then? We'll see... I may get soft by tonight... When I feel to do the right thing. I kinda know what I ought to do. I just don't feel like doing it. When I talk to Him, I'll be okay. Soon. After I throw away my feelings of fury, disappointment, and all those bad stuff that happens to a young teenage life.

After that commercial break that I never thought would be that long, I'll end this entry. So much for my introduction... That'll continue on to the next...

"Everyday is a happy day!":p<---NOT TODAY!