New Year 2012: Love

*LOVE

When Lindon and I weren't talking anymore, I started talking to Manny again as friends. I didn't push him away anymore but we've set boundaries. We went out to Tagaytay overnight and it was great. We had lunch at Sonya's Garden (bought rose water and throat spray), dinner at Bag Of Beans (bought my tea scrub), checked in at Day's hotel with free breakfast the next day, had diarrhea that night (haha!), strolled around Robinson's to buy some stuff (my grey jacket included). We went to People's Park (?), bought some herbs along the street, ate lunch at the original Mushroom Burger before going home. It was the best and most expensive date ever. I thought we should have done that ages ago when we were still together. It was a nice relaxing vacation we both needed. Of course we had the friendship boundary and after that, it was still the same for me. I missed his company but I still wasn't ready to get back together or to get back at all. We then both decided that it wasn't the best idea to go on a vacation together with just the two of us. :) Weeks went by and he asks me out sometimes. We don't go out on dates per se but since it was Christmas season, we went out to buy Christmas gifts at the bazaar and the mall. Once I met up with him in MOA just because it was CRMSS party time and I was on duty 1030pm. I didn't want to stay at the office after party so I met up with him in MOA. I gave him a necklace (wrong one because what I thought was a man's sign turned out to be a woman's) and UNILAB freebies. Haha! He gave me a pink angry bird earphones (not working too good btw) and some food for the gods on a different day. He visited my office twice ( or thrice. one night to tambay before his drinking session with some office people, the next morning to pick me up after my shift, carless, then one more morning to pick me up, with a car this time). Come New Year, he dropped by after office (past 12mn, Jan2). We were suppose to go out because I promised him after I had him drop me off Megamall with my OV friends. It was too late to go out so he just ate at our house and his googly eyes made me have to confront him. Yes, again, he asked me to get back together, but after our meeting last Friday to jog at UST, I told him that my focus right now is to enjoy my time with my family, to just relax and calm down and not make big decisions for the year but to savor every opportunity that I get to spend for my family. Pahinga muna ako even with my love life. If I had to give a time frame, I'd say I'd give a year before I'll be ready to pursue a relationship, whoever the person may be. Right then and there, he also confirmed after me asking, that he's in love with the idea of being in a relationship. That he can't get past living without a partner. I can't blame him with the kind of environment and family set up that he has but I'll blame him for allowing that to happen to him. See, if Manny is "the one" after all this time, this is still not the right time. I know it's not for me to judge but my guts tell me that he still need to grow. I may be too judgmental and maybe that's one thing I need to improve on myself but right now, having a relationship with him, or anyone else for that matter, doesn't feel right at all. He said he'll be pursuing this girl he told be about that day in UST but somehow, today, he changed his mind and said "kung dumating, so be it. kung wala, edi wala!" di na lang daw nya iniisip ang commitment with anyone. He feels that I'm testing him but I'm really not. Haha he always feel that I'm testing him. Anyway, we're still talking, as friends of course. Hopefully no drama will come out anymore. September2011-Kuya Jhek. We'll see. :)

Lindon: We haven't been talking. We just greeted thru text last Christmas and New Year. He also texted me that he misses me. Once, he called me in the office to ask me out but that time when I heard his voice, "Please do move on" kept screaming in my head. Pogi talaga. I didn't go to Cebu with Sedy and Vince. I did want to but the timing wasn't right literally and figuratively. We were suppose to have a getaway with Oliver this January but it didn't push through. I asked him through text and then it was the beginning of the end of no talking. The next day he called me at work. It was the day I met up with Manny in UST. He asked me out and I refused due to prior engagement. Zyra says it would be better if I go out with Lindon again. Well, my heart beat loud when we talked on the phone. I just don't have any control over it. I wish it happens to me when I talk to Manny. Anyway, I'm still firm with my decision, that whatever happens, it's not going to be Lindon. Hopefully, he sees it that way too. Besides, after unblocking him in FB, I believe he still has feelings for Ms March. I don't have feelings for him as well. No point in thinking too much now. Decision is final. :)

Boys may be pampam and I get irritated sometimes. I can manage. We'll get through this one. No rash decisions for the meantime. Just try to relax and stick on the plan. ;)

"Everyday is a happy day!":p