To Manny - July 2 (archive(

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  July 2, 2011

  Jhoanna Mary Calica

  • Manny, your love for me is so ideal. And I'm freakin stupid to let you go. I miss the times when we were just the two people in our world. At the same time, I miss the times when I am always there for friends and family who need me. I miss the romance, the look in your eyes when you say "ang ganda mo." Somehow it vanished along the way. I hope we'd done more adventures together, rather than lay in the room all day. I wish we didn't rush things intimately before. Because for some reason, I'm always putting it to blame. I love to take care of you, at the same time, I want you to take care of me too. I thought that being in love means accepting your partner's good and bad side. But why am I complaining? Why do I feel like there's something missing? These are the questions I have to answer for myself. A friend once told me that you shouldn't let your feelings be controlled by any external force. It should be felt internally, freely. Today I confront these emotions. I don't know what will happen in the future. I don't know what lesson this experience will give me. But I know God has put me in this situation for a reason. I'm excited to see what will happen next in this roller coaster life. I know breaking up is so hard for you to deal with and I'm sorry for having to put you through this but I won't force myself nor give in to my mother instinct this time. I learned so much from our relationship and I treasure that. Ion asked me, what if you did change, will I want to reunite? I honestly don't know what I'll want in the future. The future is bright only if you see that it's bright.

"Everyday is a happy day!":p