why?

is it wrong that i made myself happy last summer? is that the reason why my third year continued tormenting me until now? tormenting me while nothing's even happening... just wanting to kill my insides... eat me up until nothing's left anymore... none of me... my happiness sucked out of me... dead... i have to get what hitomi in escaflowne the movie said about sleeping and fading away... that's perfect for me right now! *sigh*
"Everyday is a happy day!":p