CLM: The Apartment

After my dentist appointment today, I decided to spend time with Charles in his apartment (eventhough I've been firm in not wanting to go there alone) because of financial and practical reasons. It was a day that I dont feel uber sweet or clingy. I know that if anything happens, it will not be all the way. I've been rehearsing what to say, my limitations, do not touch sensitive areas, if all the way happens that means breakup....but no. I wasnt able to say one thing. So we met up at Ever around 1:30pm. I went home past 11. Our supposed jogging in UP became a workout in bed with clothes on. First he made me lunch (doubled as dinner): overcooked rice and sauted jolly mushroom. Haha we then watched movies. Probably 1 and a half movies. I was laying on my front all the time while he keeps hugging and caressing my back and kissing me on the cheeks. He massaged my back, i massaged his. Before the 2nd movie ended we were already rocking slowly. Oh nooo! I allowed it to happen. Maybe if we did go to UP to jog around 6 we wouldn't have gone that far. But I know myself, that day the urge was low. I was holding back by not kissing back. I know that if we kiss, I may not be able to control myself anymore. I like cuddling with him so much but we went beyond what i wanted. But thank you that it didnt go too far. The good thing about it though is that i was able to gauge our potential. Im now convinced that its dangerous to get together like that. May more so at night. I was able to size him. And it was...sad. Haha sorry I cant help but compare. It doesnt matter anyway because I love him and his company. Sooo what now? Haha


"Everyday is a happy day!":p