MGQ: Haunted

June, July...

I thought we were okay. We were able to communicate. We saw each other a few weeks back, he gave me back my books (Sophie's World and Purpose Driven Life), I lend him Bo Sanchez's How To Find Your One True Love that we bought that same day. He's fat. Haha! We seldom talk. He talks to Kat too. He's still messed up but he's not pursuing me anymore. Not after that April talk.

Right now, probably for two weeks now, my heart is sinking, my tears barely holding back. Snoopy me discovered his rendevouz with his dear dear wifey fvck buddy Teenteen. It hurts so much. It's haunting me. I don't know who to talk to, I don't know how to let it out. I feel so filthy. It's only now that I feel so bad about what happened to us. Him, taking away my innocence. I hate him. I feel so awful, seeing how "unspecial," how ordinary it is for him to do that to any girl. Any girl at all. What is really love? For him, what is it? What is sex? I want to slap him in the face. Right now. I think that's what I should do. Slap him. Maybe then I'll feel better. How do I move on? The scar is so deep. Healing will take place, I am sure of that. But right now, I guess I am at that point where I need to feel all these.

I Need You Lord - Mike Lapid

Please stay here by my side.
I need Your love
I know I have no chance against all odds
I need You Lord
For all the pain and sorrow now
There's no other love I think I'm sure about

I'm so affected. I still do care. But I care more about myself, and right now, I'm not doing well.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are King...
I will be still and know You are God.

"Everyday is a happy day!":p