He's out of my life...

Just change the gender of the third person from a she to a he... hehe I still haven't wrote about my what I call "ultimate crush" since 3rd year highschool...jowhs! ehehe a.k.a. jose florencio del rosario gonzales. I don't intend to talk about him right now... This is just a kind of introduction or a sneak preview (preferably) of him. I'll just say that a few weeks ago, actually the exact date being September 27, 2004, around 6:45 pm, I got a phonecall from Camille (one of my closest friends since 3rd year highschool, ang Jose and my classmate then) telling me that a close connection with Jowhs told her the day before (at Kate's debut) that he had gone to the US earlier that semester. They don't know when, why and how?! They said that Jowhs suddenly never showed up in their classes and already got an FA (failure due to absences) in every subjects he ever had that time and they never realized what happened to him until his college buddies got word from him (don't know how) that he's already in the states (don't know where exactly). It came to me as a shock... but it came to me later that night when I was in bed and praying, and my thought wondering... When I was on the phone, I wasn't really into what I heard from Camille... I guess I was hmmm... not hearing it? hehe.. I don't wanna hear it really. I even got to laugh at it! No tears whatsoever! But that night, when it came to me that I may never be able to see him again, when I thought of how I never got to tell him how he really meant to me and how special he really was....is........thoughts just flourished through me, emotions enhanced pictures in my head...pictures from my memories, move clips in my mind....flowing timelessly, fast and dramatic.... oh so missed, so full and so beautiful... detailed carefully as if still shots from reality but dreamt...only dreamt that night. coming alive yet still a dream... this is reality my friends... he's gone.... tears had fallen.... but just once.... that one time is enough! And I do not intend to repeat it for him... I'll have to stop now or else I wouldn't anymore...hehe Here's a song for him....

"She's Out Of My Life"

by Josh Groban

[1st Verse]

She's out of my life

She's out of my life

And I don't know whether to laugh or cry

I don't know whether to live or die

And it cuts like a knife

She's out of my life

[2nd Verse]

It's out of my hands

It's out of my hands

To think for two years she was here

And I took her for granted I was so cavalier

Now the way that It stands

She's out of my hands

[Bridge]

So I've learned that love's Not Possession

And I've learned that love won't wait

Now I've learned that love needs expression

But I learned too late

[3rd Verse]

She's out of my life

She's out of my life

Damned Indecision and cursed pride

Kept my love for her locked deep Inside

And it cuts like a knife

She's out of my life